Dreaming of You : Greatest Women of My Life

I rarely have a dream of mak since she passed away, sometimes I feel maybe mak was angry with me or disappointed with me and she doesn't want to see me even in dreams.

 

I started dreaming of her when I enter the 5th month of my pregnancies, in most of my dream, I dream her with my dad.. they are happy talking to each other like they always does...

 

But last night, the dream was a bit different. In that dream, I was back to my house, as I open the door of my mak room, I saw her laying on her bed, immediately she ask me if I could bring her to a vacation, and I say yes. The next thing I remember, I am driving her around with my car and I saw her smiles again, the smiles that I longed for. The moment I try to talk to her, the dream stop and I realize that was only a dream. It feels so real as if she is still with me, the desperation of wanting her to be around, sharing with her every bits of my daily life, hearing a view of life giving me such a heartache. I ended up crying myself to bed that night and when Paul call from his workplace, I told him all about the dream, and he said the most comforting words for me at these time "Honey, you basically giving her The Mother's Day Gift". I smiled at that thought. Indeed. I miss you so much, Mak. Happy Mothers Day, Mak. My Superwoman.

 

 

The Wedding:The Planning

This post should have been long posted, but I guess I am too busy preparing and arranging my wedding until I don't even have the time to have enough sleep until my Big Day ( So much of "maw urus sendiri" kan)...LOL.

Episode 1 : Picking The Date!

So, the first thing we do is to confirmed the wedding date...since both of us born in August, we decided to choose 18th August (which is my birth date..hehe) .. Apparently the date falls on the last day of Ramadhan, well in this case most of our Moslem family and friends wouldn't be able to join our celebration...Again, We are back to square one. After a lots of eenie meenie mynie moo.. we finally pick the date that is best suits our working timetable..especially him & the date is 20th October 2012 (Both of us love even numbers, so we think this is the best date that describe both of us).

Episode 2 : The Venue! 

Done with the date picking, pheww! Trust me bride-to-be..picking the date could be even trickier when it comes to your own wedding. Okay, as for the venue, it has been long decided that we will be having the bride wedding party the same day as our church wedding, as well as the venue which is KDCA (Kadazan-Dusun Cultural Association Hall), ehe! The hall is big enough and it has good facilities especially its sound system and lighting which could enhance the decorations you've set for your wedding. The downside of picking this one is we have to book the place at least one year before the wedding, since I really want this venue, we ended up booking the place almost one year and a half before the date!! ;-p

It is easier when it comes to pick for the groom's side, we have decided to it at his house since their house has a big compound suitable for the theme we set for the groom's side. :-)

Episode 3 : The Checklist!

As for me, I need a checklist for almost everything,apalagi its my own wedding!... I think the checklist is really important so that you won't miss anything at least with a checklist you could lessen the possibilty of forgetting some important things to prepare. So, I make a file to compile all the checklist that I think I need for the wedding. 

Oh well! I think that's it for now. ;-) ... To be continued....

The Proposal

I don't know if I am one of those hopeless romantic fella, but I always dreamt of having the most romantic and all the top proposal from my future husband. But since I've met my husband now and getting to know him, I know I have to let go of this one dream.

 

It was  two days before our wedding and we are still busy preparing this and that for our big day . I remembered feeling so stressed out, mix feelings and I keep thinking about my mother, wishing she be there on my big day, telling me what marriage would be like and walk me down the aisle together with my father.  I don't know if I can even smile on that day, maybe its written all over my face, the anger, the nervousness, the sadness, the doubts and so many other feelings I couldn't describe.

That fine day, after our meeting with the priest, we went back to my apartment to get something but before I start getting busy, He hold my shoulder and ask me to sit down. I can't even think and at that time I cant even guess what he wants to do but the moment he start kneeling in front me and holding our engagement ring, I was like "oh, my gosh, I think he going to do it". He look at me in a way I could never describe, and he start saying these to me  " I might not be the most romantic guy for you and I am sorry I don't prepare the most romantic proposal dinner as what you always dream of, but I promise you that I am going to take care and love you as long as I live, will you marry me? " It strikes at that time, watching him saying all those beautiful words to me, It wasn't the roses or the fancy candlelight's dinner that I need from him but his true love and his willingness to commit the journey of marriage together as one.

 

At that very moment, I believed this another of God's way of telling me that I have made the right decision. It's simple but too meaningful and with tears coming down to my cheek, I answered him back " Yes babe, Yes".

 

The Pixie Cut

It has been a long battle for me to cut my hair short. I even talk about it in my previous post *remember the day I made my hair Farah Fawcett Style*... I have been contemplating to cut it short since it took me ages to grow it to that length.

Finally, I have the guts to cut it all, I think because my hair is getting worse after the wedding and with the pregnancy, I don't really have the energy to cut it down. After much discussion with hair-stylist, Patricia from KK G-Cut, Here is the final outcome... ehe!

The Long Silence

Much have change since Nov'11. Its been a year since I've jotted any notes on my life. 2012 has been a whirlwind year for me, I didn't even know how I survive with all the job migration, the wedding and etc.  There are so many wonderful things happened but I couldn't find the time nor energy to even write plus  I  think I am having that "Writer's Block" syndrome. aha! ( Writer's Block is defined as a condition, primarily associated with writing as a profession in which an author losses the ability to produce new work.)

P/S But as in my case, when the blogger losses the ability to produce any entry.

 

Half of the year, I've been struggling with the career changes. From being an Freshwater Officer in WWF-Malaysia, preaching about freshwater conservations to a Science Communicator in PetroSains Sdn Bhd, spreading the wonders of science in every bit of daily life routines and finally to a Agricultural Lecturer in a government sector, teaching practical agriculture practices to the community in Lahad Datu.  Imagine in less than 10 months, I need to adapt myself with two kinds of working arrangement and in between I have to struggle with my own wedding preparations. Gahh!

                                    

Well, I am not gonna write everything in this one post. ehe! I'll be making some pages for my wedding preps and the pre-wedding as well as wedding photos soon. Stay tune ya lovers!!

Fun, Fearless & Fabulous Women 2011 ; Voting Season!

Finally!! It came to the voting month. Its all in the November issue. All the 12 finalist of Malaysian Fun, Fearless & Fabulous Women 2011 are out in this issue. Each of them share their own stories in this. Don't Forget to get your copy at the nearest bookstore! its worth it!!....

Personally.. as one of the finalist for the running of Malaysian FFF Women 2011 - Cosmopolitan Malaysia. I would like to ask for you generous favour. Please do kindly vote for me. The instruction on how to vote is as follow...

Untuk Mengundi dengan pantas dan mudah ..Taip COSMOIC  
(EG COSMO 840805XXYYYY PAULBIAN STEPHEN) dan hantarkan ke 32733.
Selepas Pengesahan, taip COSMOFFFKOD CALON (EG: COSMO FFF W05) dan hantarkan ke 32733.

My Code is W05... your vote will mean a lot to me ...

The results will be known in this coming saturday !! 3rd December 2011.

Thanks Peepz... and Wish Me Luck ya!! ;-)

PETROSAINS: The Interview, Offer & The Decision.

I guess people would've been wandering what happening to me with all the tantrum's I've thrown on being in the greener pasture. Indeed, I've got another job offer. The job from an organization that people normally responded the word "sayang" or "hah? kenapa?" when i tell them i've declined their offer. (of course..from the title you already know kan...)

I actually applied for the job three months before i've been actually called and told that I am short-listed for the post i've applied for. I thought they already got people for the post.hmm..

Admittedly I've prepared myself hard for the interview.  I read ton's book's and I did studied the whole organization to make sure that I know almost everything that an interviewee should know. I prepared my outfits specifically for all those three days and it goes with handbags and shoes too. I even talk to myself ..in front of the mirror, bathroom ..and even on my way to the interview...freaky kan.. but I just need to get it right.

This is my second interview and this time the interview were as twice tougher than in my first interview. Imagine there are three phase of the interview and each phases is getting more pyschologically difficult and tense. However, just a friendly advice..anyone can ace any type of interview with thorough preparations + a little sprinkle of luck dust will be a great help.

It was a though decision to make... the decision that I have to make will not only affecting my life but I guess a lot of other life that meant so much too me.

I dedicated this post to all my lovely families and dearest friends that gone through with the decision process. In spite of all that, I realized I do have reliable friends that would actually give me the hard facts of life when I needed it most. To my dear fiancee, Paulbian..thank you babe..for your undying and endless support and love you've show to me in everything little things that I do. No one could ever replace you hunnybun!!

Recommendation ; This book has help me a lot in both of my successful interview. Perhaps this could be a little help to you too.. Just another reference won't hurt  Ciao!!....

Go to http://www.goodreads.com for the book review peepz!

The Weekend Breakfast : Tuaran Mee

It was one of those weekend dates, instead of roaming around kk shopping complexes..and after few hours of arguing of what we are going to do or where  to go after canceling our island trip..we finally decided to go to Tuaran .. to taste the infamous Tuaran Mee... 

Technically, I never been to Tuaran town ( I mean like..purposely went there for sightseeing or food tasting..aha! ) . From Penampang to Tuaran takes about  45 minutes to an hour (According to Paul),   However, the drive that day took longer than the usual, we stumble onto an accident involving a white myvi and an old lady. Paul saw a pool of blood is draining from the lady, I just couldn't watch it.. This is the second time we came across such tragedy. Gosh!! I still can't forget the accident up until today... 

By the way, in spite of the bitter event , we continue our journey in pursue of tasting the Tuaran Mee. We reach Tuaran about 11.00 in the morning, and the first thing you will see if you reach the town were the TUARAN MEE RESTAURANT

The Tuaran Mee Haven!!

At first, we are not really sure if this was the one that people been suggesting, however, while the restaurant lady taking our orders, I overheard a few of the customers telling the other restaurant lady how they found the place and heard about the Tuaran mee from their friends..  so, we figure we went to the right place...

Slurrrrrppp!! He is enjoying his Special Tuaran Mee Soup

Special Tuaran Mee Kon Lau Style~Macam2 ada!!

Bon appetite!!

The Tuaran Mee was superb!! Paul asked for Special Tuaran Mee Soup and I asked for the Special Tuaran Mee Kon Lau style..yummy!! ;-) ... According to the lady that work in that restaurant, the mee is made by her owner..hmm I guess that the thing that make it special ..Seems every succesful food outlets has their secret ingredient which is not a mystery though. hehe. 

Since, we took such a drive for our weekend breakfast, we decided to walk around the town and see what interesting..plus, Paul wanna check out some "Pukat" around the town.. yup..my babe is so not into gadgets..but he totally indulging himself with fishing, chainsaw-ing .. glad to have a man who knows to do these man-work ... (sejuk hati...LOL)

pilih..pilih...;-)

I took a few interesting shots around the town (trip..trip guna his new baby canon!!)

The clock tower without the clock

A few old structure in Tuaran

The Igloo Shop

We left Tuaran town about 12. 40 noon and we decided touse the new road (the one that passing 1BOrneo) to "try, test, kinam" a few shots more on the way back.

 It just one of those days..spending a day with your loved ones.. cherish every moment ;-) .. Thanks to baby Canon!! there will be more travel and trip around sabah this year I guess!! Crossfinger!! ;-p

Hunter & Bubble

It was one of my regular routine in the morning..  checking up other people life's on facebook..haha..(no..la..i'm checking on my small town in Pioneer Ville (geee.. im such an addict kan)...while checking up on my work emails ..hehe..multitasking la kunun...

Then, I came across the picture posted by my gym buddy, Naisy, asking her friends to adopt the puppies left by a stranger in front of her apartment door...well, I fell in love instantly with the puppies, its been quite some time that I want one..after my Snowy left me..few months ago..oh those time...so many losses...

I couldn't resist their cuteness, so I asked for a pair. Their were trembling on their first night at my home, frighten by all the new faces kali.. they seem weak as well, so I make them some milk and feed them with ALPO ...the pair slowly become energetic... im so happy to see those pair running around in my room on that night (yeah, they sleep in my room on the first night, takut kucing cakar..hehe)

I named the all-white dog Hunter, so that it can grow stonger and the white-with-brown-patch dog..Bubble because it so round and bubbly... oh gosh!! as i'm writing this post I couldn't wait for the clock to hit the 5 o'clock...geez..i'm missing them so much.. 

Hunter & Bubble

WELCOME TO THE FAMILY HUNTER & BUBBLE !!

Fun, Fearless and Fabulous Award 2011: Being a Finalist

Its Out!! The October Issue of Malaysian Cosmopolitan 2011. 

It feels surreal looking at my own picture in one of my favourite magazine. I never thought that I would be one of the Finalist for the Cosmo 2011 Fun, Fearless and Fabulous Award. 

FUN FEARLESS FABULOUS Award is an international award organized by COSMOPOLITAN all over the world. This is the fourth time Malaysian Cosmo organizing the event by featuring 12 women with a career that is new and challenging, at the same time looks charming too. Every Month, from January, Cosmo will featured its 12 finalist and by November, they will give the chance to the readers to choose their favourite candidate through SMS and Vote Form.

I am flatter when Anida Hadi (The Editor) emailed and called me to inform me that I was selected and I will be the first finalist from Borneo to be nominated in this award. Plus, the day they called me for the photoshoot is a day after my 25th Birthday!! Its like a wish come true..being featured in the magazine is like something I want back when im still 17 i guess!! ehe!!(The FFF Column is my fav column too..so iuspirational especially last year winner.. Azrina Jane Abdullah ..the Malaysian Drifter)

The photoshoot session was awesome. I've meet with the december finalist as well, which you are yet to find out (don't want to spill the beans just yet)..believe me..she is totally cool!! ;-)

M8 Studio ;-)

 Dear lovely readers, if you are reading this out..show me some love, do get your Cosmo Copy for Oct and It would be much lovely if you bought the November issue as well. It would be great if you can vote for me too!! There will be more stories coming up on this one!! ;-)

Me, Qaseh and Anida

P/S: Believe me, I'm still pinching myself everytime i saw myself in that page..Surreal!!

::Why ...O....Why Must I be at Mabul Marine Week 2011::

my getaway trip!! please be mine!!

This is it !! This might sound so cliche..but ..life like that's kan. Bha, frankly, from the bottom of my heart as deep as the bottom of the beautiful sea in Mabul Island, I'll need this vacation... why? because I just need the break.. ehe!! ...but before you all started getting bored over my cry of help to get this vacay-sione...lets get into a few facts dulu yah...

To those whom unfamiliar with Mabul Island.. well, its your bad (Gurau jak..) sooo...According to Wikipedia  

Mabul is a small island off the south-eastern coast of Sabah in Malaysia. The island has been a fishing village since 1970s. Then in 1990s, it first became popular to divers due to its proximity to Sipadan island.

Located 15km from Sipadan, this 20-hectare piece of land surfaces 5-10 meters above sea level, consists mostly flat grounds and aerial view is oval-shaped. Surrounding it are sandy beaches, perched on the northwest corner of a larger two square kilometer reef. Mabul island is administered by Semporna, Tawau district.

In Short: 

Courtesy of Go Travel @Malaysia Blog

Details how to get there, populations, climate change and everything is nice is this blog or you can source it out (Apparently, he been there..)... Apology, I could not provide you the details yet..Since I never been there..so its INDEED  a very good reason..why I must be at Mabul Marine Week 2011..so that I can give you peeps the prescription of the island and its wonders in FLYING COLORS...(believe me..I'll do..haha!!)

However, the dream is too good to be true if it hasn't for our generous sponsors the SCUBA JUNKIE...

I'll bet those people over there are so cool as cool as the blue ocean ..because they can get me to dive with 

sharks and turtles....ehe ( emm..mybe..for me...I am happy with the turtles only..No offense jaws..hehe)

so, please..let me meet them...ehe!! oh well...only if you let me be there..

BTW... peepz.. please do check out their cool courses and services at their page...

 

http://www.scuba-junkie.com/

 so, you see, how scarce the information that I can share to my readers for the island as well as for Scuba Junkie..this does not do you justice kan.. so..hereby..this is my vow for the trip..

Dear Readers, Borneoblogger, Scuba Junkie and Everyone niCe, 

 1. I will keep all of you updated... each and every day at the trip..day 1 to day 3 ...

I'll keep it simple, understandable and readable...

2. there will be beautiful pictures ..well + me in it....and sure some good words for you..hehe..

3. I'll give you publicity, publicity, publicity..kecil-kecilan..

4. Most of all, you know you did a good deed... helping a girl's out of her misery of 

not getting her vacay-sione...

Mabul!! Come on!! You'll know you want me there!!

imagining myself having my good vacaysione

 XOXO

I've Written My Name wItH PeacocK Feathers!! Yes, I Do!!

I finally get it!! I know its not most people favourite things in life and some people might think of this type of artwork is outrageous..but for me ... it takes courage to do it and it just my way of proving to myself that I can do anything that I am determine to do...I've think about it over and over again and yeah.. no matter how I think about it, I know that I just need to do it. 

I am so fascinated with tattoo since I'm like twelve...I keep imagining what kind of tattoo I will get when I ready to have it when I grow up... It must be something meaningful since it will be under my skin..like forever kan...It might sound so cliché..but that is the reason i want it..its meaningful and it takes courage to do it..;-)

among the first step...

so, when people ask me if I'm ready to do it...hell yeah!! but financially..aha.. not really..Thank God!! I've make some during the Merdeka Raya Mini-Bazaar.. boleh lah splurge sikit this month ;-p  . Readiness is one thing.. acceptance is another... I know..the first person I ask were my fiancée, since we soon going to spent our lifetime together, I don't want him to feel disturb with the image when...you know what kan..nanti kill the moment pula...and yes! I'm thankful that he understand  me, he understand the reason and most important of all..he accept it... :-) I am grateful to have such an understanding and loving other half~~

well, feeling the every bit of the process

so, if you really want to have it and its first time.. survey your tattooist and your design first. I ask around those whom already have it..maybe they can recommend you..once you survey them, you like the design, the next step is..talk and discuss with your tattooist..if you feel comfortable with your choice+your ready..I assure you that you'll manage the pain (Well ..not all part pain la..;-) 

Outlining, Colouring & Highlighting (paling sandi la ne)

Thanks to my Tattooist, Pip Lubasi, he does make my first tattoo experience manageable... so those whom interested..go and check his artwork in his facebook... to those in KK, his studio is just around the corner. Its in Jesselton Point, KK...and oh ya.. at least bring someone to talk to you when you really need that small talk...glad my sister, Jane and his BF were there..watching my tattoo in the making .. as well as Kim...for spending her day off with me too... 

Finally, Its Done!!! 2.5 Hours Of paIn anD I'm sCarred for life~~

P/S to those yang still under-age..please..this post is not a post to encourage to do these stuff..think carefully ..don't do it because of your peers, or for some kind coolness..do it because you really wanted it..study first, have a career then ..you have the say in your life...

The Merdeka Raya Mini-Bazaar

The sale is ON... finally I've got my chances to sell my pre-loved items that been actually been so long kept and unused in my closets. I have always wanted to try participate in bazaar. Well, its turn out to be fun, as well as tiring at the same time. But as for the profit... Its fair enough to say that i am well-satisfied!! Hahaha!!

The Fleastatic Mini Merdeka Raya Bazaar!!

My Pre-loved cloThes

More prE-loved items

Massage and Crafts as well!!

BTW, lets go into details la ya... The Mini-Bazaar is actually organized by the JCI Intan for the upcoming Merdeka-Raya celebration. Its open for the JC members as well to the public. The bazaar is kinda like a garage sale..the western people always does this kan... "Other peoples garbage might be someone else treasures"....Well..peepz..the good news is..there gonna be another one soon... be alert on your facebook and might as well to my post....prepare your sales people..if you wanna join the fun!!

Me and The Jc Intan President, Zyee

Oops! U.N,D.E.R.G.A.R.M.E.N.T.S ~ ~

As I was going thru with my July CLEO (a true companion to cure my boredom, to solve my fashion issues, a boost on self-enhancement...and..ectera..ectera...), I was stuck with  Santhi Ganesan article on "10 WAYS TO FEEL COMFORTABLE IN YOUR OWN SKIN". Something about the list bring back some reminiscence on my own experience.

get your copy now!

it was the NO.2 on that list which have caught my attention "Never underestimate the power of quality undergarments". I agree with her that, We, women, often neglected or i might say ignored the power of good and quality of our undegarments. We always have that little thought "hey, nobody gonna see what i'm wearing inside, so why bother" or " i'll better save some money so that i can spend on more clothes" BUT think again chicas, how do suppose to feel and look great for ourselves if the foundational undergarment we've chose inside is lame.

fancy-ness!

Admittedly, me myself was once the victim of wrongful choice of undergarments especially for my twins (hmm..i'm sure you'll understand what i mean..hehe..). I've always thought i should buy those smaller size bra's that will lessen the attention to my boobs. I've realised my twin has always become an attention which somehow at times makes me feel uncomfortable. I don't really bother to know the size of my bra, sometimes, my choice will be those that are fancy without considering its ability to support as well as shape my twins ehe!. Nevertheless, i am one of those girls that thought that i can save some money by buying cheaper set of bras, so that i can spend more on clothes or shoes or bags, or accessories..or ..simply others..Little that i know that my choice of non-quality-unfitted-unfunctional bra lead to my poor posture and makes me look fatter.

Read More @ http://www.knickersblog.com on the top 5myth of brasizing!

I never realize that choosing the non-quality + wrong size for the twin cause my twin to look old and unflattering than it should be (you know..saggy-hangy kinda look). When I realise my wrongful choice, and slowly change it, I was surprised to the wonders of a better choice in buying myself a good quality of undegarments. I feel more confident, I believe my posture improved, and I do feel good in any dress or clothes that i've put on me because whatever it is, I believe I have a strong and supportive foundations!!

* for more info on how to measure or chose the right bra for your bountiful twins..read here!

https://sophiajenner.wordpress.com/

 or

https://howtomeasureyourbrasize.com/

or

https://mdbreast.com/blog/611/

QUOTING FROM MDBREAST

Selecting a new bra size sometimes can be a little difficult, even though 85% of women are actually not wearing the right size bra today. Choosing the right bra has more than getting the most stylish bra at the store. Women need to choose the right fit.