May 12, 2013

Dreaming of You : Greatest Women of My Life

I rarely have a dream of mak since she passed away, sometimes I feel maybe mak was angry with me or disappointed with me and she doesn't want to see me even in dreams.
 
I started dreaming of her when I enter the 5th month of my pregnancies, in most of my dream, I dream her with my dad.. they are happy talking to each other like they always does...
 
But last night, the dream was a bit different. In that dream, I was back to my house, as I open the door of my mak room, I saw her laying on her bed, immediately she ask me if I could bring her to a vacation, and I say yes. The next thing I remember, I am driving her around with my car and I saw her smiles again, the smiles that I longed for. The moment I try to talk to her, the dream stop and I realize that was only a dream. It feels so real as if she is still with me, the desperation of wanting her to be around, sharing with her every bits of my daily life, hearing a view of life giving me such a heartache. I ended up crying myself to bed that night and when Paul call from his workplace, I told him all about the dream, and he said the most comforting words for me at these time "Honey, you basically giving her The Mother's Day Gift". I smiled at that thought. Indeed. I miss you so much, Mak. Happy Mothers Day, Mak. My Superwoman.
 
 

1 comment:

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