May 27, 2010

The Fairytale Story That Isnt One!

Once upon a time, on a Saturday not so far away from the Penampang district...a couple was sitting in a Park or maybe its not a park, a field maybe called Padang Merdeka (i don't know if i get the name right, don't remember really).Their were talking, discussing apparently on the subject of buying houses or if possible, buying lands to built their dream was sweet..i mean in a way that both are showing/preparing themselves to those kind of commitment..yep..that couple was me and him...we were attending the property fairs held by the SPNB..because we were planning to settle down with the roof on our heads before the day that we say "I Do" to each other...others might think this was too early...but that was always in my plan since high school i guess..if i ever getting married..that guy must posses a house, a car and a life insurance of does sound materialistic isnt not asking for a villa, a Ferrari or even any of those luxurious thingy...i am asking for the essentials..the essentials that what i think i need to feel secure enough start a life together with some other person...
a newlywed need a house to have a room to have their very own bed so that they can groan and moan all night long without have to worry their might woke up other people..hahaha..nah this is only of the big reasons..there is a lot of other reasons...well...our elders might perceive cars as a luxury aspects of life but that particular view might not went well on these days...we unfortunately needs this to make a living, for emergency..and for a lot of other reasons i might not have ti list it here...while for the life insurance..ahaha..thats is only precautionary action..we never expect what life must have been good but it might flip coin to the other side.... well. what i write here was not practically involved in our conversations...mostly we were talking about the mortgage rates for the house we wanna or we planning to have..and all the other budgets we need to think of in the coming year...the things that both of us have to limit to get the life we want...haha..especially surprise there huh...and then suddenly during our talks...i shrugged and say this to him "Life is Hard" and then he smile and say to me "there you are, you have grown up my baby" ahahahaha...No la..that what i want him to say...its like those dialogue in the hopeless-romantic kinda movie would have say..what he actually say was..."Ko sedar suda sayang" is with smile...hahaha..not so romantic kan...but bulihlah...when you are in love everything is sweet even though sometimes its salty...haha whoa...guess its enough to say that i will not be getting my dream honeymoon in Paris and the kiss under the Eiffel Tower sooner...someday hopefully...but apparently nothing of those really matter does it when you finally know what you are committing to..a life with a person you truly love..sometimes it is not only what you want it to be but it is what the "US" want to be like...well..that very conversations end with lunch and a dress...hahaha...(I think i might use my time now to enjoy my no compromising era for the better things first).... Nope....eventhough its start with "Once Upon a Time" this one certainly will not end "Happily Ever After" this time...However...I wish for it to be "Forever and Always Be Happy".... one of my favorite fairytale-ever CINDERELLA -The End~

May 21, 2010


Demit!!! someone somewhere which is totally unknown suddenly judging me just because I've posted some funny stuff on FaceBook...yep..those funny statuses does contain some "HOT" words (this person refer COCK and PENIS as HOT words)...but its only for intention is only to share with young and maybe some open minded middle age folks on that statuses...I didn't intentionally send those statuses to her...PLUS..I'm not referring to her at all...Duhh! At first she started by sending me polite message asking me if i purposely i sent those statuses on facebook.. honestly i replied her message telling her that I do it only for FUN and its nothing PERSONAL... i thought everything went fine after say ok and say its a bit daring for her.... I Do understand not all people are very much open with words but the thing that DEFINITELY piss ME off is... She posted her status that goes lyke this "SOME SICK PEOPLE ARE ABUSING FACEBOOK VIA STATUS SHUFFLE...WATCH OUT" then the BIG HUMONGOUS HUH! came out from my mouth! WTF! I did say I am sorry (4 times in the message i replied to her) if those statuses have offended her in some way.... she say okay and laugh and then wHat the hell with those status BITCH! Then..I realised all her statuses is about Prayer and God hey! I'm not here to judge..ITS AWFULLY GOOD THAT YOU LOVE TO PRAY BUT LISTEN WOMEN..WHATEVER YOU DO YOU ARE NOT BOUND TO JUDGE OTHERS!!!! OH Fuhhh! I'm not very much the swearing type... but this SUPER BITCH HAS CROSS HER LINES MAN!! the funny thing is i told my mother about this women and my mum knows her and we were kinda related WHATEVER!! FUCK OFF!!
*as soon as i saw her status Ive definitely blocking this BiatcH!!* P;S SAYA TEDA WINKING-WINKING NE KALI~~

My One Hundred Ways

THE LYRIC Compliment what she does Send her roses just because If it's violins she loves Let them play Dedicate her favourite song And hold her closer all night long Love her today Find one hundred ways Dont forget, there could be An old lover in her memory If you need her so much more Why don't you say? Maybe she has it in her mind That she's just wasting her time Ask her to stay Find one hundred ways Being cool won't help you keep a love warm You'll just blow your only chance Take the time to open up your heart That's the secret of romance Sacrifice if you care Buy her some moonlight to wear If it's one more star she wants Go all the way In your arms tonight, she'll reflect That she owes you the sweetest of debts If she wants to pay Find one hundred ways Love her today Find one hundred ways
Sweet song isn't it? Aha...honestly i never heard this song before until i found this book "10'000 WAYS TO SAY I LOVE YOU"...yup..there is 10 000 ways in this book teach us how to say/show our love to our love includes love songs, gestures, foods and places to go...little things that we might not think of...Honestly..Ive been reading this book again and again and again..its really fascinate me in some way...there is few that we've already done and another few which is partly done...and many more to try on..this book somehow can spice up one love's life...ooh dear..nevertheless..i have my own list of ways to say i love him and to tell him that he is my man...Naaa...I'm not gonna reveal it here...He know nanti...haha..Let it be a surprise...a little surprise won't hurt..isn't it my dear? *Wink*

May 9, 2010


Its Mother's Day again...often i forgot this day..the last card i give to her if I'm not mistaken when i was 10...i make this card specially for her...telling that i love her...and so...i still do..but i figure when you grow older..the word love is kinda hard to say is it..or it just me...i always think someday or somehow she knows that i love her..and i do appreciate all the things she does for me... that's what i think...i have time...but last October really hit me hard... My mother were diagnosed with cancer...stomach cancer to be exact...all this while we thought it was gastric never occurred to me that this such thing will happen to her...if you have known my mother..she is one strong woman...i never see her cry..never matter how hard life painful it is..she go through..back then when life quite hard for us..if she had to walk to fetch us..she will walk..she do everything at home...she doesnt work..she is a classic housewife...she clean. she cook...every little things until...somehow i felt..the three of us were the luckiest children in the world..she pampered us but in different kind of way... she hadn't call me the day she were diagnosed..instead a week after that day, i called to ask her and simply with no so ever emotion she say "Doktor Cakap...kanser" then i replied "Hah"...somehow i wish i was deaf or maybe i hope my mum were just playing around..then she say again "Kanser"....there it was...the word that i never would have guess came out to my was a long silence again..until my mum ask me "kenapa diam?" but at the time..that very moment..i felt tears on my cheek...i couldn't speak or say anything...i couldnt stand...i feel so afraid...and then i know i cant show that I'm weak..because i need her to be strong as she always be...i know if i cried in front of her...I'm afraid she will i hold my voice..try to sound as calm as possible...i say to her "Tedalah Ma, nanti kita bincang lagi..saya ada hal jap..nanti saya kol lagi" ...then she simply answer " bha, kc siap la keja ko dulu"...the moment we say bye and i put off the phone...i burst out into tears...i sat front of my laboratory and i cried.. At that time, i really need to talk..just so that i could put myself back together..i called Him, and he was shocked..i guess with my tearful and trembling hye or hey..i said "darling, you know what..mummy saya got cancer...she got cancer"...i don't remember the rest what Ive said to him...but i remember that i keep saying "she got cancer"...and mostly i cried...he just hear me out..he was also speechless..he just say let it out first... That very day, i cancel all my work and i go back to my dorm early..and yes..the tears couldn't stop..i think Ive been crying the whole day until i fell asleep..i called her that night and then we talk about it..i ask her what the doctor wanna do about it..she say "dia suruh bedah, tapi ma xmaw".. i kept silent only..part of myself are rejecting the facts that my mother were sick...that she ask me again "kanapa diam?"..then i replied..."saya cuba tanya kawan2 sama tue supervisor saya dulu..apa maw buat..nanti saya balik..kita tgk macammana"...then she say "bha"..the conversation end short that night. There it was, the day that the fight begin..the day that make me realized...that i dont have all the time to tell her i love her...the day that make me think..that i might not have the chance to repay her...feeling sorry and crying wouldn't help...since that day until now i try my very best to show her that i care for her...not only on designated Mother's day..but everyday... if Heroes in myth legend is define as a man of great strength and courage, favored by the gods and in part descended from them, often regarded as a half-god and worshiped after his death well...Our Mother is a She-roes...a woman of great strength and courage, favored by the God and in fact descended from God to take care of us...and of course she will always be in our heart...Remembered and Cherished Until the end of time...
Prayer; O Dear Lord, Thank you for giving me chance to feel the great love from her, give my Mother a strong heart and strong faith to keep her moving on, Lessen her burden..if it must be..let me be the one to face it for her...May her heart always at peace...Amen.
Our first picture..after she finish her chemo..

May 5, 2010

The Dangling Obsession

Earingssss..dangling, unique earrings who doesn't love them...every girls loveee earrings and i have to admit i am obsessed with it...actually if you know me..i obsessed with so many things...including sweet hot hubby...;-p I guess it all started back when I'm in Terengganu...i remember i saw a beautiful Malay girl wearing a dangling Indian like earrings which look really nice on sooo at the time..the earrings was kinda "IN"... so usual..the quest begin...everywhere i go ill find myself searching of those dangling earrings....i remember i have lots of earrings back then...i have a bag of them...hmmm...but lots of it lost along the way... there were once, the hoop earring was kinda popular back then college...i remember i used this really big hoop earrings and i really love that earrings..cause it just not round but have it some beautiful designs on i ever saw a Malaysian celebrity wearing the same earring in one of the local wonder oso..i bought it last time in KL...huh..what to do.. i broke the one oso..i adore these earrings i bought during Terengganu Monsoon was among the most expensive earrings i ever bought that is made from kayu was really super duper nice...and yep it cost me RM40...huh...someone borrow it and never give me back..i wonder if i could find that earrings again...honestly..i still been searching that same designs of earring until now...
among the earrings i love most...especially the three tone green earrings (my hunny madu bought it on V-day ;-p) it was really nice...and of cos..have lotsa meaning for me....actually i just bought the wooden board from DAISO (store that sells Japanese good and all were priced rm5)...worth it la juga....i bought this one cause the dolls that i used to hang on my accessories were full...
the black dolls (Again my hunny bunny buy for me during Christmas...i guess it was my pre-Christmas gift) used to hang my accesories..haha..actually this corner were the place i put all my fav things...dusty suda ne...cause near the window..haha..bikin malu jak...
Conclusion; I jusT Luf Earring's and couldn't stop Loving It~~ Lotsa Lotsa of Winking *CIAO*

May 4, 2010

Sabah Fest; The Legend Of Arung Salamiah

Its Fabulousnesssss!!! The show was awesome....the choreography was great, the decorations and the people ive said before I've been meaning to attend this function on the 1st however due to "sebab-sebab yang xdapat dielakkan'..I've canceled it...Luckily, Oscar got another tickets for the 2nd of May performance..hehe... well..the story is basically about the most beautiful Bajau Lady in semporna named Arung Salamiah whom have promised her heart to the Bajau Guy called Tanjung Kalang...however..because of her popularity due to her beautifulness..some Bajau Dato...wants to take her as his wife even though he has so many wife..typical kan..(banyak datu-datu ada banyak isteri juga nowadays) like usual..the hero and the villain fought for Arung Salamiah...which at this part..she have to run away and hide herself...during the war of love..Tanjung Kalang has hurt himself which then took him some time to soon as he recover..he start his journey to find his true love, Arung...he travel around Sabah..and during his travel..he saw many different culture from different part of sabah..however...despite his long journey to find Arung...he failed to find her since she already become the fairy and wouldn't come back as human again...hmmm..biasalah dat kan...bukan happy ending..hehe.... after and Oscar and his lady boss..take some time..taking pictures with the was totally nice and am really having a good time that night...smiling till ears...haha...*CIAO*

May 3, 2010

~Me & The 3T's Month~

May...its the month of festivities for the kadazandusun...its simply the 3T's month (Tapai, Tagung and Tondu) all know what i mean...every year there would an opening ceremony for the Kaamatan Month but then..i never seem have the chance to go and watch it...hmm..i don't know when but i already put it in The List..One of the reason...i've failed in this mission is simply because...every year since.....Hmmmm....i dont exactly know when its family on my father sides always have this family gathering which on that day..we all will be celebrating Mother's Day...especially for the Mums in the family and of course..for our Big Momma (My grandma)...Since my father has a very big family.. (He is the 3rd among all 12 of them)...this is the only time we all can gather around and updates ourselves with their lives...i guess it has been 3-4 years i havent been able to join the familiy gathering...being away and stuff... Honestly..this year i've been planning to skip the family gathering AGAIN...just because i wanna attend the opening of Sabah my friend, Oscar able to get a cheaper ticket and i felt its such a waste if i didnt attend it...but...aha! the moment i told my daddy that i don't wanna go back with them...he make that face...the face that make you feel that there is no hope to argue yeah...ill follow my family and its not that bad also..meeting the old folks and the cousin mazen...hehe...exchanging stories and thing i realised is that..most of my cousins have babies of their own already...and when their addressing me as aunty...haha..well...don't know la what to my uncles and aunties keep showing their fingers to a sign of asking..when im going to get myself engaged...hmmm...this one of the part that i actually dont favor much from a family gathering.... just complicated...okayla..thats all for tonite..will be uploading the photos soooo sleepy ody..feel lazy want too upload now...lotsa lotsa of winking *CIAO*