April 18, 2011

PAIN & SORROW


I still feel it ..not some time but most of the time..everything still seem so clear..so near but yet so far for me to even get a glimpse of it....

I cried and cried cause the pain is too much...it seems that it was all my fault....i think i have done everything but that everything seems nothing now...

at times, i blame others, i blame those whom came and make the time shorter for me and my family...i blame those whom make accusations by accusations that make things worse, i blame those people whom share their stories and the stories arent simply to make her stronger but weaken her spirit, i blame those whom put their hands where there shouldnt be put...

all in all, it is still my fault, if i could be stronger, i can say no to those people, if i have the strength, i can cast them away..so that we have time together..she will be much stronger to fight..i believe she wiill..it just that i'm not good at protecting her...it just that im not good at taking care of her...after all she have done for me and my family..i have failed...and one can say there is no more greater failure than fail to protect and cared for your loved ones....

if only i have done it right...if only...she might still be here...

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